As of this month, I’ve been in Germany for six months. My grant ends in July 2010 though I’d like to stay in Germany for another year or two. One year doesn’t seem long enough to truly complete the experience. (Plus my language skills are still quite terrible; I’d like to move up to C-level though that seems psychotically ambitious.) J and I have started at-home tutoring lessons with a few others. A nice lady comes by our home twice a week for lessons.
Anyway, we’ve been here long enough to note some differences between the US and Germany. Despite the fact that both countries are westernized and that a large percentage of the US population has a German heritage, the differences between the two can be shocking.
- INTERNET: I love cyberspace. It is probably my favorite place second to Seattle. In Berlin, it took us FORTY DAYS to get the internet installed in our flat. Apparently this is normal. WTF?
- HOME REGISTRATION: The German government keeps track of all its citizens. Everyone is supposed to register the location of their home. If you should move, this requires re-registration which requires going to the local Rathaus and standing in line for literally hours. Reminds me of the American DMV. I actually like this idea; I imagine there is a great deal of insightful data in for city planning, etc. Plus the crime related to transience might be reduced (serial killing and stuff).
- SUNDAYS: On Sundays grocery stores and clothing stores are closed. In America, my favorite thing to do on a relaxing Sunday was head to the grocery store and prepare a nice meal. I guess the German rationale is that all workers need a weekly day off. Germany is supposedly capitalist, but often their policies are more socialist like in this instance. Not to be a teabagger, but socialism blows when it comes to selling snacks on God’s day. WTF?
- MEALS: In the US, dinner is the biggest daily meal. In Germany, it’s lunch. I would say that in this instance the Germans win. This makes more sense to me. You have more time to digest your food instead of the American way of eating a huge meal and then going to bed (although this is probably my favorite activity). Interestingly, in Vietnam there is no differentiation really in type of food for meal time so you can start the day with big bowl of pho. I love this!
- LANGUAGE: English is the international language so virtually everyone speaks at least a little English. It’s taught in grammar school. My tandem partners all speak three languages; it’s so impressive! On a sidenote, I’ve asked all my tandem speakers when they use which language to express what type of idea. Interestingly, Vietnamese is the language for comedy. When something is funny, it is even funnier in Vietnamese and usually not funny in German.
- BREAD: Everywhere there is bread. Truthfully, it’s just mediocre.
- SOCIALIST MONETARY CONTROL: In Germany, a credit card is directly based on how much money you make. At the end of the month, the entire balance is debited from our bank account. You can’t delay payment, you can’t pay a portion, you pay the entire thing. So it’s very different from the American credit system where you can apply for a credit card the minute you become an adult and gain access to 1000s of dollars of money you don’t have. There’s a governmental restriction to spending that is very strict. Additionally, most places are cash-only or debit card-only, so essentially if you don’t have money at that particular moment, you cannot spend it. Also, this restrictive policy exists in German Ebay. They limit the amount of items you may bid on at a time. This is insanely annoying but actually quite positive. Germany wins!
- DELIVERIES: Germany has not yet figured how to get shit from one place to another without involving stress, delay, and general hassling. Seriously, do not get stuff sent to Germany because it WILL arrive late and it will require that you make an infinite number of calls. THIS BLOWS!
- CUSTOMER SERVICE PHONE CALLS: Speaking of making an infinite number of calls to track a package, did you know that you have to actually pay in order to call a customer service line? So while you’re on hold, you’re paying 0.14/min in addition to the cost of the phone line.
- EDUCATION: It’s fucking free here! FREE! In America, you buy your education from your college. It’s normal to come out of school with a lifelong debt of 30K-100K especially if you have a graduate degree. Universities are 100% businesses. More than that, they are status symbols. In Germany, there is an element of elitism, also but it’s more about quality and level of education. In the fifth year, students are separated across three levels. The highest level, Gymnasium, prepares you for college, while the others lead to vocational training or simply end at the high school level. It is apparently quite difficult to move to a different level once you’ve selected a track. Essentially this means that ten-year-olds decided whether they are going to attend college or not which seems rather young to make such a decision. Also, I’ve heard that there is quite a bit of social difficulties that arise out of this separation.
- DUBBING: English movies are dubbed in Germany rather than subtitled. A German actor who voices the part of a particular American will be his vocal counterpart for the rest of his life.
- MOVING: When Germans move to another flat, they literally take the kitchen with them. This means refrigerator, dishwasher (rare), washer, dryer (rare; Germans hang dry), etc.
- POOP SHELVES: German toilets feature what we call poop shelves. Rather than drop into a pool of water like in American toilets, they land onto a little shelf. When you flush, it pushes the crap off the shelf and down the drain. Why? I’m not sure, but it does allow you to pay quite a bit of attention to your poop.
Overall, despite the free education and the social welfare systems, I am definitely voting for America! Despite the pervasive influence of religion on everyday life and the conservative hate mongering and Paula’s Deen’s Krispy Kreme burger, at least there’s the consolation of Snuggies™ and Apolo Ohno and For the Love of Ray J, 2.
